Never judge a Mankind post by its cover! This post is one that has taken thousands of years of research from millions of men across the 7 seas.. Many long days and nights of pointless arguments with our counter species (woman) have taken place for this information to be provided so that WE AS MEN shall have the upper hand in a relationship! It is the duty of the Cave to help Men to reach new heights of intelligence, new heights of superiority over the enemy (women)! So, enough of the intro... let's get to it.
In case you didn't know, women have their own language. A language so complex, that it has left many of us scratching our heads in confusion and grabbing a beer for relief. "Womanese" has FINALLY been decoded and broken down in simple Man lingo! Luckily we have Cave Members who majored in Historic Languages and we even have one who minored in "Womanese". So, enjoy the fruits of our labor, may the force be with you!
1. "have fun"
Translation: You better not have fun
Explanation: 99% of the time, these are your woman's last words before you leave the house and head out with your boys. "All women love an honest man"............... BULLSHIT! No matter how fun the club is, DO NOT COME HOME AND SAY YOU HAD FUN! Fun did not exist, fun is not even in your vocabulary when you get back to her. There's a simple Concept called LYING. Don't overlie and end up being obvious. Read below, The Cave will break it down for you.
Her: So how was the club?
You: Eh, it was okay..
Her: Just okay?
You: Yeah, i wasn't feeling it for real, the DJ wasn't that great either. I missed you though. *roll over and kiss her*
BOOM! Simple. Here is the wrong way to do it
Her: So how was the club?
You: Eh, it was ok. There wasn't anyone there, the entire time all I could think about was how bad I wanted to get back home to you.
Her: MMHHHMMMM..
BUSTED!! Hello Captain Obvious!
2. "Go find somebody else then"
Summary: These 5 words are usually said during an argument. Most likely after a time you complained about something that she does that you really don't like, or maybe something that you want her to do that she doesn't. But no matter the case, "DO NOT SAY OK". Women have 3 brains in one and sometimes the emotional brain says things it doesn't mean. You must be able to decode the message! Simply reply "I don't want anyone else, I want you". Then GTD!
3. "i'm fine"
Summary: It's simple.;.. SHE'S NOT FINE. She's definitely angry and wants more atention and for you to ask about it. Well, in reality, she just wants to vent. So open those ears and put on your acting skills to pretend to care, win that Oscar!
4. "do whatever you want"
Summary: It's a trap. Plain and simple. Whatever it is that you want to do, take the L... don't do it. For your life's sake.
5. "nope, I'm not even mad"
Summary: Once again, WHY women say things that they don't mean will always be a mystery. All we know is how to cope as a species. The Cave really has no reply that can possibly in any way end well for you, so just... just pray!
6. "i don't care"
Summary: Let's be honest. All we care about is sex, food, and sports. Now, if you do the math... that comprises of about 22% (modestly) of the average woman's concerns in life. So 78% of what a woman cares about... YOU GIVE 0 F**** about. Rough life, we know. We know. Just pretend to care so that you may live in peace.
7. "i believe you"
Summary: Basically, when she gets quiet after these three words... Expect her to be looking through your Instagram for clues to piece together whatever mad idea of where you have been for the past three hours. Just let the investigate go on, nothing you say will change her mind.
As we conclude, we hope that you can incorporate this into your daily lives, not because you actually care about half of the s*** that your woman says, but so that you may GTD peacefully and regularly. Who likes an emotional edgy woman 24/7?? EXACTLY!